In just a few weeks, the United States will mark the 20th anniversary of the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks. In this remarkable story, Jennifer Senior traces one family who lost a loved one on that day. She details the grief of that family, which looks so much like the grief of the whole country: despair, hope, resilience, unexplainable turns to conspiracy theory, the difficulty of love, truth-telling and its avoidance, and the complexities of remembering.
What Bobby McIlvaine Left Behind: Grief and Conspiracy 20 Years After 9/11
By Jennifer Senior

Bobby McIlvaine, with his parents, Helen and Bob Sr., at his Princeton graduation in 1997. Bobby’s body was found in the wreckage of the Twin Towers. (Danna Singer; original photo courtesy of the McIlvaine family)
When Bobby McIlvaine died on September 11, 2001, his desk at home was a study in plate tectonics, coated in shifting piles of leather-bound diaries and yellow legal pads. He’d kept the diaries since he was a teenager, and they were filled with the usual diary things—longings, observations, frustrations—while the legal pads were marbled with more variety: aphoristic musings, quotes that spoke to him, stabs at fiction.
The yellow pads appeared to have the earnest beginnings of two different novels. But the diaries told a different kind of story. To the outside world, Bobby, 26, was a charmer, a striver, a furnace of ambition. But inside, the guy was a sage and a sap—philosophical about disappointments, melancholy when the weather changed, moony over girlfriends.
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