“my mom and my mind”

Nyee’ya Williams, then a senior from Raleigh, North Carolina, wrote this honest and love-filled dedication to her mother for BOS Magazine. She reflects on how her mother sacrificed everything to give her a beautiful life.

my mom and my mind
By Nyee’ya Williams

my mom had me at 14
gave her childhood to me
like blue jays singing in the springtime
when she talks to me
it sets my mind at ease

even when she frowns cus i chew at my fingernails or i wear jeans with too many rips in them

the love never moves

my mom.
always compliment what i thought were my biggest flaws
“love yourself”
she would tell me
and even when i didn’t
her love was enough

my mom.
played mom, played dad, played best friend, played teacher, played coach
and she was the star in every role

my life like a movie
her producing the film
yelling “CUT” when she needs to direct me and taking 5 when she sees it’s too much for me

my life like a meal
her the chef
leaving me to cool off when my teenage hormones have gotten the best of me
and warming me up when the cold air of the world has frozen me

my mom.
my dad was never really there
but she always tells me
“you look just like him”
i look just like him
but on this inside i wanna be just like her

i never seen my mom give up
she never quit even when things were rough
i can’t give up
i can’t settle
my mom worked too hard
cried too hard
prayed too hard
went too hard for me to quit.

she always in my corner like
“you got this! you got this!”
I got this.

in the back of my mind i know she won’t always be here but
her voice is stuck in my head like it was glued there
her words tied to me like the laces on my dirty converses
her face pictured in my mind in a frame it could heal a migraine

gave her childhood to me
like blue jays singing in the springtime
when she talks to me
it sets my mind free

my mom.

This poem was originally published in BOS Magazine Vol. 4: An Ode to Raleigh’s Black Mothers.